#1...really...

I'm going to start this again. I'm starting a brand new chapter. This will be the start of a new adventure.

Step 1: Start to distance myself from Ben. Check. We agreed last night that I would only stay at his house on the weekends (Friday and Saturday nights) - and he asked for two nights. It does not help me grow to constantly be at his house.

Step 2: Take the time I'm not spending at his house to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. We'll touch more on this later.

Step 3: Begin writing this blog and re-learning codes in order to publish it. I knew HTML once - how hard can it be to re-learn it and learn a few new languages? I'd also like to learn some programming codes, such as Python, in an effort to further market myself.

Step 4: Begin meditating more regularly. Can I commit to 10 minutes a day?

Step 5: Start doing arts and crafts more - there are so many great DIY activities I've seen on Pinterest that I can't believe the only thing I've done is make an orange candle with Ben. I want to accomplish at least one project a month. I have a sewing machine that I should really brush up my skills on.

Step 6: Write more. This one is hard, and ambitious. I don't mean just writing this blog - I do have faith I can fill this up with fun stuffs. But I mean write some nonfiction like I once really enjoyed writing. I want to find this passion again.

Step 7: Start eating more healthy foods and less bad-for-me foods. Yes, Pizzahut can be delicious. And I can't promise I will never eat it again, but I don't need it more than once a month (let's be real here, even that's pushing it). I want to eat less meat and less carbs. Not cut them out entirely - just make a change I can keep. And I want to drink less cheap beer. I got a little tipsy tonight at Literary Quizzo and when I left the bar with Nehemiah, well, I didn't really like the way I felt. And all those calories to feel like that? Nah. I'll drink a good glass of wine or the good beer I've been drinking with Ben (Samuel Smith's) once in a while...but that's it.

Step 8: Spend more time with Gary-cat.

Step 9: Get a studio apartment on my own.

Step 10: Figure out what's next!

Yep, 10 steps. And all of this while I'm trying to remember to live each moment in the moment. Kind of exhausts and thrills me at the same time! This is actually going to take some time and hard work. I'm welcoming the challenge to myself, though, and hope it means only good things for me. This process is about a great deal of things - proving to myself that I can do these things and reaping the benefits from living a more fulfilled life, learning to love myself by myself which means taking care of myself, and slowing life down - all of these among many others. Some of these things have end-goals and a particular ending point while others will be life-long changes that I plan to gradually work into my day. The only time to do something I've been meaning to do is now - I'm not going to wait for life to start any longer.

It is way too late for me to be up with all of these things on the horizon.

<3, me